Dear M. Night Shyamalan,
I don’t know whether to thank you or tell you to go fuck yourself. You wrote and directed the 2008 film “The Happening”. This is both the worst and best movie I have ever watched. It is one of the dumbest movies ever made, but the completely ridiculous plot and awful acting makes it very entertaining…when you’re very very high. After I watched “The Happening” I couldn’t decide if you were just an asshole who wanted to show everyone that you could make the shittiest movie ever and still be rich or if you just paid someone to scramble your brain with a power drill and wrote down whatever came to mind. What the fuck were you thinking? “I have the perfect idea for my next movie! Check it out! People are going to start to say stupid shit that makes no sense, then walk around backwards for a little bit, and then they are just going to kill themselves in the most inconvenient and hilarious ways possible….oh yeah and the trees are the bad guys.” Fuck you M. Night Shyamalan. I will give you credit for the ways that the people in the movie kill themselves though. Five minutes into the movie an entire construction crew just swan dives one by one off the roof of the building. At one point some lady pulls out her iphone at a diner to show a video that her sister had sent her. The video is of some guy in a zoo who has been infected by the scary killer tree air who decides to wave his arm in taunting motions in front of a lions face until the lion finally says “fuck it” and eats him.
What kind of dickhead sees a guy about to get his shit fucked up by a lion and thinks to pull out their iphone, video tape it, and send it out to all their friends? You managed to turn Mark Wahlberg, who is badass in every movie, into a crybaby pussy. Oh, and great ending you idiot. The trees just give up and stop killing people for no reason at all…in America at least. For some reason they go to France. Maybe you were setting everyone up for the sequel: “It’s Happening Again: Don’t Even Bother Watching”. Well M. Night Shyamalan, fuck you and suck my dick.
Sincerely,
BroBroBroDude
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